Some More Then

Dreams, dreams, dreams. So many strange dreams!

I dreamt that I was shaving my forearms. I was using a razor but was fascinated to note that it was cutting like clippers into a fine but even coat. The hairs on my forearms are actually quite fine and light in colour, as they were in the dream but there were more of them there. The amazing w.w. looked this up in a Polish dream book of hers and says that dreams of hairy arms relate to job offers but she added that me shaving the hair in the dream begs the question of whether I would take the offer or not. I didn't draw a parallel until she gave me her interpretation but the day after I had this dream I was offered some additional work at my temp job but I turned it down. Spot on dream interpretation, me thinks.

The next night I dreamt I was at a hotel and a friend of mine from high school was there. We've always been in touch since we left school but in the dream she was trying to play practical jokes on me. At one point I was in the bathroom of my hotel room and a stream of sun screen squirted down on me from a roof vent out of what looked like a sauce bottle nozzle. I don't know how I found out but it was done by an older man, perhaps in his late 40's but my friend had put him up to it. The next thing I knew I was on the roof top of the hotel and was angry because I had been in the bathroom and felt that the joke had crossed the line as I could have been undressed or anything. My friend was laughing but I was somehow calmly pissed. I grabbed the guy and threw him over the edge of the building. As I looked over I saw him fall and crash into a glass ledge.

My friend freaked out, which is understandable, and screamed at me, "Oh, my God, what have you done?". I'm usually the sort of person who would always try to talk about things but I remember just walking off in the dream and feeling like I didn't really need to answer. I was smiling to myself as I left and I said something that might have been, "You didn't expect that, did you?" or something really callous like that.

My dream then turned to a need to dispose of the body of this guy I'd thrown off the building. As I was thinking this the image of him crashing into the glass flashed past and I realised that other people would have seen what had happened and would be attending to the body but I still had to do something about it anyway.

I talked to The Starchild and then got a flash of an image of a hole he had dug, but it was in the old dirt driveway at my Mum's house, which is the house that I grew up in, but the driveway in the dream was more like as it was in around 1980 to 1985, when I was between the ages of five and ten. The Starchild didn't really talk much but he listened to what had happened and then got to work, which is much like him, and just muttered something about it being a good job that he had dug that hole so now we could bury the body in it. I felt good and hopeful and went to the linen closest in my current house to get something to wrap the body in before we buried it. I took ages trying to find something appropriate, which for some reason I thought needed to be brown and green - not common colours for any of the things I own, and by the time I decided on something, The Starchild was slapping the dirt from his hands and clothes and had finished the job, which is, again, much like him.

I'm a bit disconcerted about this dream, as you can imagine, as I can't consolidate any of my thoughts, feelings or actions in it with my usual self. I've had a really strange energy with me for a few weeks now and I kind of feel like it is related. I've also had some really great advice today from w.w. about good ways to release the energy, which she noticed on Monday night, but that advice also included a comment that resonated with me quite strongly and that was sometimes these things have some work to do with us. I have had a bit of a reluctance to release it just yet and there are a number of situations that have shown me that I don't feel really scared by it at all, but I don't trust it, and I feel that it is trying to influence some of my conscious decisions. There doesn't seem to be an immediate need to take action on this as yet but it does feel like I'm going to go on a bit of a trip each night when I go to bed, not that that is so unusual, but I think there are some things that I need to work with at the moment. Once I am through with that I will go a tree-hugging, which I will probably blog about some more then.

Every Day Life

On Wednesday night I dreamt that I was back at high school and I'd lost my school bag. I was retracing my steps for the day and returning to classrooms that I'd been to but was calm and just kind of going through the motions to find my bag. As I walked along the corridors it was like I knew it was the present time because I was noticing little renovations and was trying really hard to remember the names of the buildings and was thinking that made sense because it had been so long since I'd been there.

At some point I passed a staff room and one of the teachers seemed very worried that I hadn't handed in a note to go to some excursion. They told me it had to be in two days ago and that too long had passed for them to be able to do anything about it. They were quite upset, but in a sad and sympathetic way and not angry as I guess would have been the case if I really was a student. I told them that it didn't really matter and that I wasn't worried but they continued to fret.

Different things happened in each of the classrooms that I went to but I can't remember much about those parts other than there were other people who were also worried about this permission note that I hadn't handed in but I still wasn't phased, even though I probably would have been at the time had it had been real.

The last room I went to was an English class but it was one of my old Maths teachers (which actually makes sense as I remember that her and one of the English teachers were really good friends and that she had done three unit English when she was at High School and the English teacher had done four unit Maths). I didn't really like this teacher but got along with her ok. She told me that I'd left my bag there early and was surprised that I didn't remember. She seemed quite sympathetic but then started to get angry at all of the work I'd missed because I'd been wandering around all day trying to find my bad. She kept saying how I was usually so organised and was asking me why I couldn't remember things. She gave me a pile of books and papers and told me to photocopy them, but I didn't know which ones she meant and couldn't remember where the photocopier was. When I asked she got angrier and I ended up getting upset and telling her to cut me some slack and to think about the times when I was organised and did do the right thing and that it was ok if I was having a down day for once.

The next night I had a dream that I was going to a job interview that a friend had recommended me for and set up for me. I got there and realised I didn't even know the name of the guy I was meant to be meeting but just as I started to call my friend to ask, the guy came out and he knew who I was.

We went inside the office area and it was all very laid back but really productive and everyone seemed happy. He was asking me some questions, but not really very many for an interview. I was trying to work out what his name was and then I realised that I didn't even know what the job was that I was interviewing for. I started to feel that it was all a little bit too relaxed and the interview was too unstructured and lacking direction so I started to take charge and lead the discussion.

This seemed to be the right tact as he then took me on a tour and I seemed to be starting work there and then - talk about hitting the ground running! I don't know what the company did but it was something to do with marketing and everyone kept telling me how much of a genius this guy was at what he did.

I started to meet the people in the office and was thinking how great it would be to work there. Then I saw my sister-in-law, who is usually a quiet and reserved type of person but in the dream she was outgoing and had a lip piercing, which also quite unlike her in real life. The piercings seemed to be knew in the dream because the area around them was red and swollen.

The next thing I remember I was standing outside the front door of the office and I noticed there was an identical door next to it but inside everyone wore white clothes and were very stoic and quiet. There was some sort of set up where all employees had to spend some time working on both sides and I was a little disappointed because it looked so boring compared to the first side.

The boss from the white side then came out and he turned out to be the twin brother of the guy who had interviewed me, even though they didn't look the same other then in age, which was somewhere in their 50's. The white boss guy was angry about something and had an argument with the interviewer guy. Even though I wasn't involved I felt like it had something to do with me and I was even more worried about having to work for the white boss guy.

Both of these dreams seem to be about life choices and external pressures and expectations. They've probably come up because of the temp work I will be starting tomorrow. I'm sure there is more to it than that though as they were so involved and so vivid at the time, it seems like such a lot of trouble for my subconscious to go to just to talk to me about such obvious and basic elements of every day life.

If I Could Help Them

On Tuesday night I dreamt that I arrived at Stroud and it was like a school camp. I got there early and didn't realise until hours of walking around catching up with old school friends that I hadn't organised a bed. The Starchild was there but he had a single bed and didn't seem interested in changing locations. Even though it was a school camp, there were some older parents (who in the dream were of grandparent age as all of the school kids are in their 30's now) and some partners, but still a lot of the same friends hanging out in groups together.

The place was only a little like where we are staying this weekend. In the dream there were more buildings and there were beds lined up along an enclosed veranda. There was also an oval over a rise and as I walked up the slight hill and looked out I noticed there were many more people walking around than were staying there. I noticed that some of them were injured or bleeding and then I realised that some of them were dead. They were walking amongst the living but no one else saw them. After watching them for a few minutes, I could start to tell them apart from the real people, even the ones that weren't hurt.

At first I felt repulsion, mostly at the injuries, and also fear. It was like something horrible to watch but that I was absolutely captivated by and couldn't look away from. I then felt great sorrow and compassion for these lost souls. I wondered briefly if this was just a one-off but I felt sure that I was always going to be able to see them. This scared me, the thought of seeing hurt and lost people all of the time, every where I looked. At this point, one of them, a lady with a blood trickle down her right temple, saw that I was staring at them and started walking up to me. She was the only one of them with purpose and she seemed very intense - sort of excited with underlying anger at the same time.

She started talking very quickly and I can't remember what she was saying but I knew she needed my help. The last thing I remember before I woke up was looking up from her face and seeing more and more of these ghost people noticing us and starting to come to see if I could help them, too.